We share some of the realities that no one might mention about what happens after birth and as always share some tips.
The love-hate relationship:
You love your baby so much that you do no trust anyone with them…even the dad:-). This is your precious child, you supervise everything dad and anyone else does to your baby. On the other hand, you have moments when you feel like giving your baby away for a few days just for you to have some freedom…some rest, some alone time.
Tip:Get as much help as you can. People who cannot handle a baby will usually not visit you or will out rightly say so. Accept offers to help you, let your friends and family come by, hold the baby while you nap, unwind or take a walk.
Things that are hard to do once baby is born:
Ordinarily, these are activities that we do normally without putting thought to…the fact that they get hard to do can pause a challenge and sometimes be a little frustrating. Be patient with yourself, you heal a little more every day.
Standing up: This can be a painful process as your back, abdomen and pelvic regions are healing. If you had a CS, the pain is more because you have a cut.
Tip:standing up has to be planned, done slowly and aided, help makes it better.
Answering the long call: As your intestines settle back to their usual, pre-pregnancy place, they shut down for a day or two. When the ‘download’ is to happen, it is painful as you are partly constipated and your pelvic floor muscles hurt. You can be long in the little room and sitting that long can be painful. It can be worse if you had or developed hemorrhoids during pregnancy.
Tip:Include fruits like papaya and greens in your diet to help soften the stools. Fluids like soups and water help too. If it is beyond this, get a stool softener. If you had a CS, your doctor may give you medication to soften your stool.
Taking a bath: If most mums would confess, they would admit that they dash out of the bathroom severally because while they were there, they heard the baby cry, just to find the baby deep asleep. Funny but happens to many.
Tip: Get into the shower as soon as baby has settled in their sleep. You can also take a bath when you have someone who can take care of the baby for you.
‘Head under pillow’
The coming of the baby is expected to be an exciting time but not always. 1 out of every 5 mums and 1 out of every 10 dads goes through some form of low mood after the birth of their baby. Most parents do not talk about their low moods and crying episodes.
There’s a lot of adjusting that comes with parenting; Relationships, finances, time among other things change and adapting to the new life can be challenging. The mother’s hormones are also settling back to the pre-pregnancy state and this too can cause an emotional deep.
Tip:: If going through some blues or depression, do not blame yourself. Work towards adjusting to the new life. Get help; as parents, work together; eat well, drink lots of fluids; try sleeping or napping; talk to a counsellor. Remember, it does get easier.
“ When a baby is born, they are a by-product of their parents; the relationship created and cultivated is what makes the baby your child and you their parent” KM
Becoming a parent is one of the best experiences one can have. A research carried out by some Danish researchers showed that being a parent can make one live longer. Watching your child grow and develop and being part of them is motivational.
Tip: As much as the responsibility is a focus remember, learn ways that can help you create a relationship with your child as it is of lifetime value. Form and think through your parenting philosophy early, get help from professionals and other parents and treat your child as an individual.
When you parent, you have a chance to have someone who loves you unconditionally, is your friend for life and honestly cares for and values you.
As a Parent, you often get anxious about your baby’s safety and well being. Mothers do often go by their baby to check if they are still alive…the silence sometimes as much as is desired is not as appreciated.
Tip: Deep inside, we appreciate that there is only so much we can do as parents. Do what is within your ability to do like ensuring safety, providing health and empowering yourself as a parent, take a first aid class. Trust that the creator will watch over your baby.